Cyber Monday in the City

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If you live in New York City  – please continue reading – if NOT – you just don’t get it – go back to sifting through those horrible gifts that you are racking your brain on who you can buy one for. The following is why #cybermonday in NYC can be so brutal for those of us who do not have a doorman.

The missed package – after a long day at work and fighting rush hour traffic on the F train you come home to see the dreaded missed package slip on your building’s door. You pray please don’t be Apt. 2E – but – yes it is Apt. 2E – but what could it be? You didn’t order anything…did you? It makes you feel like this….

UPS-dinosaur

The inappropriate office package – it is tempting but do NOT order any of the things in this picture and have them sent to work. It is wrong – no matter how big the discount.

anima

 

The wrong size that will NEVER be returned – you know that bonobos blazer that is just a little too tight? Not tight like european fit but – tommy boy tight? You swore it would fit so you threw out all of the return packaging. It is now neatly folded in a plastic bag from the deli in the bottom of your closest because you are sure you can give it to someone. Super psyched you got 50% off even though it will remain in your closet the remainder of your lease.

Your friend with the doorman – you know that guy that is really a douche and lives in a doorman building in Murray Hill? He said he would be happy to accept any packages for you. Wait! There is a catch – it comes with a night out in Murray Hill where you inevitably lose said package after power hour and beer pong at <insert painful Murray Hill bar here>. You will never see this package again.

The third attempt – you ordered on Monday – you swore you only missed the package the day before – and now you are staring at a third missed attempt – RETURNED TO SHIPPER sticker – game over…

screendeath

You will never get this package or the shipping charges refunded.

Pro tip – All of this can be fixed – signup with City CoPilot and have them accept your packages for you! It is cheaper than a cab ride to the UPS facility on the west side and always reliable.

Never miss a package again!