Cyber Monday in the City

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If you live in New York City  – please continue reading – if NOT – you just don’t get it – go back to sifting through those horrible gifts that you are racking your brain on who you can buy one for. The following is why #cybermonday in NYC can be so brutal for those of us who do not have a doorman.

The missed package – after a long day at work and fighting rush hour traffic on the F train you come home to see the dreaded missed package slip on your building’s door. You pray please don’t be Apt. 2E – but – yes it is Apt. 2E – but what could it be? You didn’t order anything…did you? It makes you feel like this….

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The inappropriate office package – it is tempting but do NOT order any of the things in this picture and have them sent to work. It is wrong – no matter how big the discount.

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The wrong size that will NEVER be returned – you know that bonobos blazer that is just a little too tight? Not tight like european fit but – tommy boy tight? You swore it would fit so you threw out all of the return packaging. It is now neatly folded in a plastic bag from the deli in the bottom of your closest because you are sure you can give it to someone. Super psyched you got 50% off even though it will remain in your closet the remainder of your lease.

Your friend with the doorman – you know that guy that is really a douche and lives in a doorman building in Murray Hill? He said he would be happy to accept any packages for you. Wait! There is a catch – it comes with a night out in Murray Hill where you inevitably lose said package after power hour and beer pong at <insert painful Murray Hill bar here>. You will never see this package again.

The third attempt – you ordered on Monday – you swore you only missed the package the day before – and now you are staring at a third missed attempt – RETURNED TO SHIPPER sticker – game over…

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You will never get this package or the shipping charges refunded.

Pro tip – All of this can be fixed – signup with City CoPilot and have them accept your packages for you! It is cheaper than a cab ride to the UPS facility on the west side and always reliable.

Never miss a package again!

Black Friday Fun

Black Friday… It can get HAIRY out there. If you live in the Lower East Side and are out shopping, leave your purchases securely with City Copilot (aka us) while you’re out and about! Or, if you take advantage of Cyber Monday, have your packages delivered to City Copilot— we’re your doorman.

Here are some other things you must know about Black Friday:

1. Do NOT try and go shopping in stores. Otherwise, this could happen:

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2. There are better deals online!

3. Watching over a dozen college football games and waiting in line for a shot of fire ball is way better than waiting in this — and warmer — because seriously, what do you REALLY need at Macy’s?

4. Did we mention the horrendous crowds, lines, lack of deals and overall grossness of Herald Square?

To recap: do NOT go shopping — unless your mom who’s in town really wants to. Otherwise, head to your favorite local spot (or your couch), watch football, shop on your iPad and relax!

And remember, if you don’t have a doorman, sign up with the CoPilots and we’ll accept your packages. Don’t be like these people — you’re better than that!

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HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY!